Trivial Religious Pursuits — Part Six
BDSM (Bondage. Discipline. Sadism. Masochism.). I promised this would B about DSM (Dance. Sex. Music.)… the former is not an official religion… or is it?
My slave friend had a book that claims women are inherent masochists. Is that true? Possibly because of the whole children thing.
BDSM exists in Santa Barbara. It’s interesting to me what some people think of as “racy”. When I was 22 I lived in a kickass apartment in Virginia Beach with 1–22 people flopping at any given moment. One day I got home from work to half the crowd (mostly men) glued to the vid playing from the VHS. Classic trainwreck that no one could tear themselves away from & one that left everyone scarred for life. Many have seen “Barnyard Follies” since, yet the BDSM on one of the tapes (yes, tapes) depicted a guy with a 2x4 getting nailed to the gonads (ouch). Same room: “Ready on the left. Ready on the right. Ready on the firing line…” Those words reverb clearly today as does the visual. When I see vids of BDSM now they pale in comparison to the ones I saw in that apartment in 1992. Then I saw 8MM. Snuff films are totes a thing & when I returned to SB last year I couldn’t help but wonder if that’s the underground industry.
Yesterday when I started writing this I thought: What’s more powerful? Nostalgia or shame? Does shame produce some ugly nostalgia that manifests as things like BDSM and/ or snuff films? Perhaps. My friend who dropped I off last year mentioned that the George Floyd vid is a snuff film. How sobering is that notion? Racism is filled with nostalgia & if you really pay close attention, it reeks of shame. Nasty, unbridled shame. Right before Jimi went MIA I had a debate about which was more painful: betrayal or loneliness? I claim it’s betrayal (that causes loneliness), however that could be the case in the reverse? I ended up on the streets of Santa Barbara County after receiving my MA from Antioch (downtown) because I followed nostalgia that led me to a someone harboring an epic shit ton of shame, then ended up with another one filled with shame. Got scapegoated & removed. Won the court case. Lost the battle because there are some powerful people who wanted heirlooms that net an astronomical price on the black market. Some of the same who love seeing vids of roofies & gang rape.
BDSM & kindness are not mutually exclusive. Fake it. Still works. How’s that for a religion? I keep hoping the DOMina & slave will show up one day & say it’s all water under the bridge. That nasty DOMina temper that spawned a shitstorm that never needed to happen? I’m not the daddy you’re angry with, Kayla. (By the way, if you got any of those fetishes listed, both of them are geniuses at what they do.) Not your mom, either. Just a soulsibling who won’t stop loving you or your slave. Supporting women is always a good idea especially when they can relate to childhood trauma… oh, and were trying to prevent it when you had that fit that took how many dogs in the past three-ish years? As if before the slave that couldn’t have been your dog?
(Yes. I know Mistress Kayla won’t read this. I’ve seen the nails & phone in action. Not enough attention span. Blessings to your ancestors for your reading the trauma of losing friends & family.)
That film Luck that I wrote about recently? I watched the end. It was glorious. Today I went to the Karpeles Manuscript Library & the docent, a delightful soulsibling named Alexandra, expressed a crestfallen demeanor about “hope”. Luck was what I offered as comfort to combat NPR. The yin-yang of Luck is green-purple. Not black-white. Nice to let go of all those weird dichotomies. BDSM is to I: the binary plus the string (thanks to Jessica the Engineer I met in Jamaica). The string is called a sūtra in Yoga philosophy. It’s what connects I + I = OneLove OneHeart OneBlood. WE are tied together as soulsiblings. Might as well enjoy the similarities & respect the differences. The string in Luck? Pretty sure it’s the cat. Animals do tend to tie us together.
Cheers & Namastes.